Bann dimoun ki ankes tou…ziska zot nepli kapav

Ena bann dimoun otour nou ki paret for touletan. Zame zot plengne, zame zot demann nanye, zame zot deranz personn. Zot ankese, ankor ek ankor. 

Nou admir zot pou zot kalm, zot pasians, ek zot kapasite zer tou. Nou apel zot bann solid. Me deryer sa fasad-la…souvan ena enn dimoun ki nepli kapav ek so soufrans invizib.

Pri silans : kan to abitie gard tou andan

Telman to'nn abitie gard tou pou twa pa dir nanye, to bann lemosion anile. Koler ek tristes kasiet ek soufrans ignore. Apre to lekor fini par koze dan plas bann mo : stres kronik, anksiete, bann troub somey, douler fizik. Lasante mantal ek fizik efondre dousman, san fer tapaz. 

Bann dimoun ki ankes tou panse zot bann lemosion pa valid

Bann lezot dan tousala ?

Otour twa, ena to fami, to bann kamarad, to bann koleg. Ena pa remark nanye…me ena swazir pou pa fer nanye. Parski zot agase, per, oubien parski li pli sinp fer sanblan tou korek. Apre, sa dimoun-la pa dir nanye non ? Be silans vinn kolektif. Enn lakor komin kinn fer dan silans : pa deranz personn ek personn pa deranz twa.

⚠️ Eski to ti kone ?

Souvan, bann dimoun ki ankes tou, zot mem kinn aprann depi bien boner pou pa exprime ek dir seki zot bizin.

Dan zot latet, zot fini integre lide ki :

Zot bann lemosion deranz dimoun,

Si zot demann led, sa enn febles,

Zot rol se ankese, res for touletan pou lezot.

Rezilta : zot vinn bann exper dan kasiet seki zot resanti…mem kan zot nepli kapav.

Pli gran piez : paret for…ek retrouv twa tousel

Bann ki touletan ankes tou pa invinsib. Zot zis inn vinn invizib dan zot soufrans. Plis zot for ek tini, mwins zot lantouraz demann zot kouma zot santi zot vremem. Plis zot riye, mwins zot lantouraz panse ki zot pa bien.

Avek letan, zot izol zot. Pa parski zot anvi res tousel, me parski zot nepli kone kouma pou montre zot frazilite.

Si nou sanz nou regar ?

Sa bann dimoun-la pa bizin ki nou admir zot lafors ankor. Zot bizin ki nou donn zot permision pou vinn kouma enn imin.

Enn regar atantif, enn kestion sinser, enn prezans san zizman. Parfwa, pa bizin gran zafer pou briz enn silans. Si olie nou valoriz zis zot rezistans…nou aprann rekonet zot fatig.

FAQ : konpran bann dimoun ki ankes tou 

Kifer sertin dimoun gard tou pou zot ?

Souvan, ena enn lien avek zot zistwar personel. Zot inn aprann pa exprim zot bann lemosion pou evit konfli, pa deranz lezot ek fer zot aksepte par zot lantouraz.

Ki bann sign ki montre ki enn dimoun pe soufer an silans ?

Li fatige touletan, fer koler brit, izol limem, resanti bann douler fizik ki pa kapav explike, oubien okontrer enn ena laparans ki touletan parfe ek bien kontrole.

Kifer lantouraz pa realize touletan ?

Parski bann sign-la bien diskre, oubien parski sa met mal alez. Parfwa, dimoun panse vremem ki si zot pa dir nanye, savedir tou korek.

Eski li danzere gard tou pou twa ?

Wi. Avek letan, sa kapav ena enn linpak lor to lasante mantal (anksiete, burn-out, depresion) ek fizik ( fatig kronik, douler, troub somey).

Kouma ed enn dimoun ki pa kontan koz lor so bann problem ?

Kre enn lespas sir, san zizman. Poz bann kestion ouver, montre ki to la, ek sirtou respekte so ritm san forse. 

Seki to stil vestimanter dir lor to leta emosionel

To’nn deza pas devan to laglas ek demann to mem : “Kifer mo'nn swazir sa jean-la zordi ? Ek sa t-shirt ble pal la ? 

Kapav to ti pe zis panse dan lakel linz to pou pli alez…oubien to swa donn bokou plis detay ki to panse lor twa. Nou stil vestimanter pa zis enn kestion lamod : li reflekte nou bann lemosion, dan ki leta nou ete, ek parfwa mem nou vre personalite.

Me kouma fer pou dekod sa bann mesaz ki kasiet la? Ek sirtou, kifer nou laparans exteryer revel otan detay lor seki nou ete vremem andan? Anou dekortik sa langaz delika, me pwisan la ansam.

Swa stil vestimanter, enn refle direk nou bann lemosion ek nou personalite

Ble : trankilite, serenite… oubien lanvi rekonfor ?

Souvan nou asosie kouler ble ek trankilite, konfians ek lapezman. Me si sak fwa to swazir bann ton ble pastel swa marinn, eski vremem to santi twa pli trankil ? Oubien to pe rod kalme enn stres interyer ki to pa oze verbalize ?

Kouler ble dan swa stil vestimanter li kapav revel enn lanvi sekirite, enn dezir stabilite dan enn lavi ki parfwa tro azite. Be si to leta despri ti pli expresif ki seki to azenda oubien ki to smartphone montre ? Enn sinp swa t-shirt kapav avoy enn signal kler : mo bizin lape.

Nwar : elegans, mister…oubien proteksion ?

Kouler nwar fasine ek intrig dimoun. Li sik, li fer paret pli mins, li sinplifie…me li enn kouler ki bokou servi kouma enn refiz si. Eski to met kouler nwar pou santi twa invizib ? Pou kasiet to bann lemosion deryer enn vwal sofistikasion ?

Nwar kapav enn larmir : li protez twa kont kiriozite lezot, me li kapav trair enn santiman vilnerabilite si. Prosin kout ki to retrouv twa abiye net an nwar gramatin tanto, demann to mem : ki pe exprime la ? mo stil oubien mo leta emosionel ?

Bann kouler ki atir lizie : lenerzi, kouraz oze…oubien latansion ?

Rouz, zonn, oranz… sa bann kouler-la pa diskre, tou dimoun remark zot. Zot evok kouraz, lazwa, ek parfwa enn lanvi ki dimoun remark twa. Me si souvan to retrouv twa pe met mem bann kouler intans ek for alor ki to pe santi twa strese oubien nerve, sa kapav enn manier, mem si to pa realize, pou prozekte enn konfians ki interyerman to parkor gagne.

Eski parfwa to santi ki to oblize briye pou ki dimoun trouv twa, tann twa oubien apresie twa ? To larmwar kapav enn refle sa lanvi emosionel-la. 

Konfor avan tou : detant…oubien enn lanvi proteksion ?

Ena enn bann ki swazir bann “sweat oversize” ek bann soulie mou kouma enn iniform ki zot pou mete toulezour. Eski nou kapav explik sa zis par enn lanvi konfor oubien sa kasiet enn dezir protez zot mem kont lemond exteryer ?

Stil “casual cocooning” kapav indike ki to pe resantre twa lor to mem, ki to bizin santi to mem an sekirite ek aksepte. Ek si deryer sa swa-la ti ena enn dezir pli profon ki pe kasiet : enn dezir ralanti, respire, rekonekte twa avek to mem ?

Bann akseswar ena enn gran linpak lor to stil vestimanter an zeneral

Bann akseswar : bann ti detay, bann gran revelasion 

Zame to souzestim linpak bann akseswar. Enn mont, enn lasenn, enn sak kouler…Sa bann ti detay-la souvan revel kouma nou pe santi nou andan vremem.

Eski to met bann bizou extravagan pou konpans enn timidite oubien enn mank konfians dan to mem ? Oubien eski to swazir bann ti zafer minimalis pou konsantre lor seki esansiel ek pa perdi to mem dan dezord ki ena deor ? Sak detay ena enn zistwar, ek se to stil ki narater dan silans la.

Kan to stil sanze, to leta interyer si sanze

Eski to'nn deza remarke ki sertin period to lavi marke par enn sanzman stil radikal ? Kapav to'nn pas depi nwar total a pastel oubien bann linz pli konfortab a bann pli oze. Eski sa pa zis explik enn evolision emosionel oubien enn lanvi for pou reinvant to mem ?

To larmwar pa zis enn linvanter bann linz : li enn zournal emosionel an latwal ek kouler. Si to obzerv sa bann sanzman-la, sa kapav ed twa konpran to limer, bann zafer ki to per, ek mem to bann laspirasion. 

To stil vestimanter, enn langaz ki to bizin ekoute

Ki to bann linz pe dir twa zordi ? Eski to pe rod sekirite, vizibilite, serenite oubien zis konfor ?

Seki pli fasinan se ki to stil vestimanter li enn dialog trankil ant twa ek lemond. Li exprim seki to resanti, parfwa pli bien ki bann mo. Ek si nou aprann ekout sa langaz-la, kapav nou pou kapav konpran nou bann prop lemosion pli bien…ek pou bann lezot si.

FAQ : zot bann kestion ki revini souvan

Q1 : Eski nou kapav lir bann lemosion dan enn stil vestimanter vremem ?

Wi ! Bann psikolog ek exper kominikasion afirme ki nou bann swa vestimanter souvan reflekte nou bann lemosion, mem san ki nou realize.

Q2 : Mo stil sanze dapre mo limer, eski li normal? 

Wi. To “dressing” kapav fonksione kouma enn baromet emosionel : sertin zour to rod konfor ek sekirite, lezot zour kouraz pou oze ek vizibilite 

Q3 : Be si touletan mo met mem kouler ?

Li pa enn azar. Bann kouler ki repete souvan reflekte bann dezir emosionel profon oubien to personalite. Obzerv sa repetision la kapav donn twa bann indis lor kouma to pe santi twa vremem.

Q4 : Eski nou kapav servi nou stil pou inflians nou limer ?

Wi ! Met bann kouler oubien bann linz ki sinboliz sertin lemosion (ble pou trankilite, rouz pou lenerzi, pastel pour lezerte) kapav ed twa ena enn kontrol lor to leta emosionel toulezour.

Prosin kout ki to pou get dan laglas, demann to mem : ki mo stil vestimanter pe rod dir mwa ? Sak swa, sak kouler, sak akseswar relie avek to leta emosionel. Aprann dekod sa langaz trankil la, li enn ti pa ver plis konsians lor to mem ek plis bien-et.

To stil li pa zis enn refle lamod : li enn refle kisannla to ete vremem, isi ek asterla.

Ipersansibilite : enn don swa enn fardo

Kikenn inn deza dir twa : 

To pe fer fim

To pe fer plis ki bizin la

To tro pran tou a ker twa

Mo prezant twa kotidien enn ipersansib. Enn lemond kot enn sinp ti remark kapav tourne an bouk pandan trwa zour dan to latet, kot enn fim kapav fer to larm koule san ki to atann, kot to resanti lenerzi enn pies avan mem ki to dir bonzour. Li fatigan ek intans. Anplis, si nou anvi admet vremem, li enn mari zoli zafer. Nou ki bizin aprann viv avek sa.

To tro sansib twa : fraz ki fer plis dega 

Komie fwa to'nn tann sa ? Dan lekol, ant fami, an koup, dan travay. Koumadir resanti bann lemosion plis ki lezot enn defo ki bizin korize. Koumadir ena enn “bug” dan so sistem.

Selman seki zot pa dir twa : ipersansibilite pa enn frazilite, me enn kablaz nerolozik diferan. To servo tret bann linformasion : lemosion, son, lanbians, regar, dan enn manier pli intans ek pli profon ki lezot. Pa dan to latet sa. Li literalman dan to servo.

Savedir non, to pa pe fer plis ki bizin. To zis resanti…kouma nou dir “an ot definision”.

Kouma enn ipersansib viv vremem ?

Parski kan to get depi an deor, to pa trouv li touletan. Me andan ?

- Enn kritik dan travay ek to res pans sa ale mem, mem si li ti konstriktif

- Enn diskision ki pa'nn rezoud ek to pa kapav dormi apre, to servo res tourne, tourne, tourne

- To absorb bann lemosion lezot dimoun kouma enn leponz : zot stres vinn to stres

- Bann tapaz for, lafoul, bann lanbians lour drenn to lenerzi

- To trouv tou seki lezot pa pe oze dir, bann tansion, bann mansonz…souvan avan zot tou

- Ek parfwa to ankoler avek to mem akoz to koumsa. Parski li fatigan pou twa si

Dir mwa,to rekonet omwin 3 sa bann pwin-la? Be lir laswit, li pou twa.

To ipersansibilite pa enn defo ki bizin korize

Aster anou koz don, parski li enn zafer vre

Ipersansibilite li sa si :

To sa dimoun ki remarke kan kikenn pa bien avan ki li dir,

ki kre bann koneksion profon partou kot lezot res zis an sirfas,

ki resanti bote enn lamizik, enn peizaz, enn moman, avek enn lintansite ki bokou pann viv zame,

to kreatif, intwitif, anpatik,

to kontan bien for,

to investi twa vremem,

ek dan enn lemond ki pe sirvol tou la, twa to pe plonze.

Kifer sa vinn enn fardo ek kouma sa arive ?

Vre problem la li pa ipersansibilite. Inn montre twa to bizin gagn onte si to ipersansib.

Telman to tann “aret plore”, “to tro dramatik”, “pran lor twa, kalme twa”, to'nn met dan to latet ki to pe fer plis ki bizin. To’nn koumans devlop bann stratezi : to sey res lwin avek seki to resanti, kontrol twa de fwa plis ki bizin, izol twa, oubien okontrer gard tou pou twa ziska to exploze.

Sa fardo-la, li pa to responsabilite. Li zis pwa tou sa lane ki to'nn pase sey port li la.

Sanz regar lor to mem

Ala seki personn pa dir twa vremem :

To pa bizin vinn mwins sansib. To zis bizin vinn pli solid. Li de zafer diferan. Vinn solid savedir :

→ Aprann pa absorb tou seki to tande. To kapav resanti wi, me pa nway twa ladan. 

→ Kre bann lespas pou to dekonprese. To sistem nerve bizin silans, lanatir, solitid ki rezener twa, pa solitid ki pini twa. Ena enn gran diferans ant sa de konsep-la. 

→ Aret dir sori akoz to pe resanti. To bann lemosion pa bann explozion ki to bizin zere. Okontrer se bann linformasion ki to bizin ekoute. 

→ To bizin antour twa avek bann dimoun ki konpran twa. Pa bann dimoun ki dir twa “kalme twa”, me bann ki dir twa “mo pe ekout twa, mo pe tann twa”.

Dapre twa, li enn don swa enn fardo ?

Mwa mo dir toulede, an mem tan ek pa fer nanye sa. 

Ipersansibilite pa enn zafer ki bizin geri sa. Li enn zafer ki to bizin aprivwaze. Ek kan to resi fer li, kan to aret lit kont seki to ete, li vinn enn to bann pwin for. 

Lemond bizin bann dimoun ki resanti vremem. Ki konekte vremem, ki viv vremem. Sa lemond-la bizin twa, kouma to ete vremem.

Twa, kouma to viv to ipersansibilite ? Kouma enn don swa kouma enn fardo, oubien enn melanz toulede ? 

*sa foto-la inn zenere par enn intelizans artifisiel (IA)

Kan mo ‘toksik’ vinn enn realite ki fer dega

Bokou dimoun zordi servi mo ‘toksik’ kouma gagne. Enn relasion difisil vinn toksik, enn move lazourne si. Me kan to retrouv twa dan enn lanvironnman toksik vremem, personel swa profesionel, pa enn ti zafer ki pou pase avek letan. Li enn realite ki kas twa, ki kapav detrir ek iz twa, ziska parfwa avoy twa lopital, fizikman ek mantalman. 

Be, ki savedir vremem…ek sirtou, ziska kotsa sa kapav ale ?

Enn klima ki abim twa dousman dousman

Enn lanvironnman toksik, li pa enn dezakor, ni enn period konplike. Li enn klima kinn instale, ki repete, ki kas twa. Kot laper ranplas trankilite lespri. Kot to kone to bizin res trankil pou evit lagir. Kot to'nn ariv enn stad kot to nepli rekonet to mem.

Dan enn kad personel, sa kapav koumanse bien boner. Enn fami oubien bann paran toksik, savedir bann kritik touletan, zizman, enn mank soutien, parfwa mem enn manipilasion emosionel. Nou grandi avek dout dan nou mem, avek enn lobzektif : prouve ki mo ase, me zame nou arive. Avek letan, konfians disparet, lazwa si.

Dan enn kad profesionel, mekanism la pli dir. Enn responsab ki pa gagn twa, ki refiz to parol, ki coup twa kan to pe koze, ki izol twa, ki devaloriz twa. Enn management ki pa anvi trouv twa evolie, me gard twa anba presion. Donn to lopinion vinn enn risk, ekziste vinn enn problem. Ek zour apre zour, tousala afekte twa.

Res dan enn lanvironnman toksik kapav afekte twa fizikman ek mantalman 

Lekor ek lespri nepli kapav fer fas

Bann konsekans pa imaziner. Zot bien vre. To lekor koze : fatig touletan, difikilte pou gagn somey, migrenn, douler, malad souvan. Stres kronik afebli ek deregle twa. To lespri si : gagn anksiete souvan, perdi motivasion, enn gran sagrin, izolman. Apre parfwa depresion. Ek dan bann ka extrem : burnout, enn fatig total.

Nou koumans par santi nou fatige. Apre demotive. Apre vide. Nou gagn dout, nou kilpabiliz nou mem, nou remet nou mem an kestion touletan. Ziska enn zour kot mem ppu leve dan gramatin vinn difisil. Kot travay vinn enn soufrans. Kot viv perdi tou so saver. Pa zis enn pasaz a vid sa. Li enn degradasion. 

Kan disparet vinn to sel solision

Kan fer fas bann sitiasion difisil koumsa, bokou tini parski oblize. Parski zot bizin sa travay-la. Parski fami sa. Parski ena enn ti lespwar ki sa pou sanze. Me, parfwa, tini kout tro ser. 

Lerla mem ki desizion pou ale nepli vinn enn swa me enn zafer neseser. Demisione, elwagne, koup kontak. Pa par febles, me pou to sirvi. Parski reste, savedir kontigne detrir tomem. 

Koumsa mem nou trouv violans sa bann lanvrionnman-la : zot pous twa sakrifie enn parti to lavi : enn travay, enn relasion, zis pou prezerv to lasante. 

Sa pa enn zafer normal, ek pa bizin banaliz li

Souvan nou tann : li koumsa partou, to bizin res for, pou pase sa. Me non. Li pa normal ki to pe viv avek enn boul dan to vant. Li pa normal ki to pe tonb malad akoz enn lanvironnman. Li pa normal ki to pe perdi tou to lazwa viv. Enn lanvironnman toksik pa repar twa, li abim twa.

*sa zimaz-la inn zenere par enn intelizans artifisiel (IA)

FAQ - Konpran ek met bann mo lor sa sitiasion-la

Kouma mo pou kone si mo dan enn lanvironnman toksik ?

Si sak fwa to santi twa strese, devalorize, vide, si to per pou exprim twa oubien si to lasante inn koumans degrade depi to dan sa lanvironnman-la, se bann sign ki pa bizin ignore. 

Eski li normal tonb malad souvan akoz stres ?

Non. Stres kronik afebli to lekor, me li res enn sign alert. To lekor pe dir twa ena enn zafer pa bon. 

Kifer li otan difisil pou ale ?

Parski ena bann laspe emosionel, finans, familial. Parski nou dout nou mem. Parski nou gard lespwar ki sitiasion pou ameliore. Me si to reste trop lontan sa kapav agrav bann konsekans.

Ale, eski apel sa enn esek ?

Non. Ale pou protez to mem enn desizion difisil, me souvan neseser. Li plis enn aksion ki pouse par lisidite, pa enn abandon 

An vre, vre kestion la res parey : komie letan to kapav res dan enn plas ki pe detrir twa…avan ki to perdi net ?

Bann zom ek lasante mantal : si silans ti kout pli ser ki parol ?

Li pa plore. Li kapav siporte. Li avanse. Li ankese. Depi tipti, samem linn aprann. Pa forseman avek bann mo. Parfwa zis avek enn regar. Enn “aret plore” lor enn terin football, kan li ti ena wit-an. Enn “azir kouma enn zom” ki li'nn tande kan li pa ti bizin tann sa. Enn silans paternel ki'nn montre li, san koze, ki li bizin kasiet so bann lemosion, pa partaze.  Ek zordi. Li la. Adilt. Fatige. Pa bien. Me li pa dir sa personn. 

Eski to konn enn zom koumsa ? Eski to sa zom-la?

Enn zom ki soufer depresion souvan pas pou enn zom avek enn move karakter

Mo bien, enn mansonz ki plis partaze dan lemond

De let. Enn sourir. Enn konversasion bien kourt. 

-"To bien ?"

-"Mo bien."

Fini. Rido bese. Sirkile. Me deryer sa “mo bien-la”, komie lanwit san somey ena ? Komie kriz langwas ? Komie fwa to'nn ser ledan dan enn renion, ant fami, pandan enn dine, partou, fer sanblan ki tou korek ?

Bann zom pa koz lor zot lasante mantal. Pa parski zot pa soufer. Me parski nou inn konstrir enn prizon avek bann baro transparan pou zot. Anplis, zot anferm zot ladan zot mem, parski zot panse samem meyer opsion.

💡 Eski to ti kone ?

Dan Lafrans, bann zom reprezant plis ki 75% bann ka sisid. Pourtan, ena de fwa mwins zom ki fam ki konsilte enn profesionel lasante mantal. Sa pa vedir ki zot soufer mwins. Se zis ki zot inn aprann ki demann led, savedir zot pann bien ranpli zot rol zom. 

Maskilinite toksik, bann mo ki nou pa oze dir

Nou pa pe koz tou zom-la. Nou pe koz enn sistem. Enn konstriksion sosial ki'nn deside, depi lontan, ki lafors maskilinn mezire dapre kantite douler ki enn zom kapav absorbe san dir nanye. 

Enn zom for pa plore. Pa gagn dout. Pa al konsilte. Pa les li abat. Li ko'nn debrouye. Me debrouye, ki savedir an vre ? 

• Nway so lespri dan travay pou pa panse. 
• Bwar trwa ver an plis enn vandredi aswar. 
• Eksite pou enn sinp ti zafer parski li’nn gard bokou andan depi tro lontan. 
• Enn depresion ki nou pa apel depresion parski sa mo-la pa kapav asosie avek bann zom. 

Eski samem ki apel lafors vremem?

Bann zom ki plore souvan konsidere kouma bann dimoun feb

-🔍 Seki personn pa dir twa

Depresion maskilinn pa resanble seki nou trouve dan bann fim. Li pa zis enn dimoun ki pe plore anba so kwet. Li pa laraz kronik, enn agresivite, enn dezangazman progresif, enn dimoun pe pran enn risk ki pa ti neseser, ni enn konsomasion lalkol ki ogmante dousman dousman. Sa bann signo-la, nou pa idantifie zot kouma soufrans. Nou apel zot ‘move karakter’. Ek zom kontigne ress koumsa mem, san okenn led. 

Seki bann zom pa inn gagne ek zot pa realize

Kikenn inn deza dir twa ki :

• plore pou soulaz twa vremem ? 
• si to met enn mo lor seki to pe resanti, sa pa apel febles, li pa montre ki to ete, li montre ki to respekte twa mem ase pou pa siport tou tousel ?

Mo krwar bien non. Parski personn pa montre sa bann garson. Nou montre zot kouma rann zot itil, kouma vinn performan, solid. Nou montre zot “fer”, bien rar montre zot “resanti”. Pli pir, zame montre zot “dir”.

Lerla, zot grandi avek enn vokabiler emosionel pov. Pa parski zot limite. Me parski zame inn donn zot bann zouti-la.

💡 Eski to ti kone ?

Bann letid dan psikolozi devlopman montre ki apartir laz 4 an, bann garson gagn mwins validasion emosionel ki bann tifi avek zot lantouraz adilt. Kondisionnman-la koumanse avan lekol primer mem. Pa enn zafer natirel sa, me ki aprann. Ek seki nou aprann nou kapav bliye. 

Koze pa vedir plengne 

Ena enn lide, ki tas dan latet, ki koz lor so soufrans, savedir nou pe victimiz nou mem. Plengne. Vinn enn fardo. 

Lerla, bann zom ress trankil. Pou pa fer zot lantouraz gagn traka. Pou pa pas pou enn dimoun feb. Pou pa azout enn sarz lor lezot. Pou ress sa dimoun lor ki nou kapav apiye, zame sa dimoun ki bizin soutien la. 

Me eski to imazinn sa pwa-la? Ankes tou tousel, touletan, san poz sak-la zame ? Koze pa vedir plengne. Nou apel sa sirviv dan enn lot fason ki dan silans. 

🔍 Seki personn pa dir twa

Bann zom ki oze al konsilte enn terapet oubien koz avec enn pros souvan dekrir mem zafer : enn soulazman rapid, preske fizik. Pa parski zot problem inn disparet. Me parski pwa-la inn partaze. Silans paternel pa protez personn. Li izole. Ek izolman, tro lontan, kapav detrir 

📌 Seki to bizin rapel

Soufer an silans pa enn verti. Li enn kondisionnman ki nou ena drwa remet an kestion.

Bann signo depresion maskilinn diferan : laraz, agresivite, dezangazman. Aprann rekonet zot twa mem, pou twa ek vek lezot si.

Demann led pa enn manier pou avwe ki to pann reysi. Okontrer se aksion ki demann bokou kouraz ki enn zom kapav fer pou li mem.

Silans kout pli ser ki parol. Ki li dan lasante, dan bann relasion, dan lavi. Ek si to konn enn zom ki dir “mo bien” inpe tro souvan, poz li sa kestion-la vremem. Parfwa samm ase pou ouver enn laport. 

Si to enn zom ki pe lir sa, ek ki pe rekonet li mem, mem inpe, les mo dir twa ki to pa bizin siport tou tousel. 

Ek si to enn fam ki pe lir sa ek to pe pans enn dimoun : enn papa, enn frer, enn kamarad, kapav prosin konversasion ki to pou ena avek li pou sanz enn zafer. 

Parski enn bann pli gran kado ki kapav donn enn zom ki fi'nn kondisione an silans, se enn lespas kot so bann mo aksepte. 

Twa, to konn enn zom ki siport tou depi tro lontan ? Dir mwa dan komanter. Parski kan nou koze li de fwa pli bien ki gard tou pou twa. 

*sa bann zimaz-la inn zenere par enn intelizans artifisiel (IA)

Drwa bann fam : enn lazourne pou selebre, 364 zour pou bliye

Sak lane, le 8 mars vini avek so bann fler, bann post bien roz lor Instagram, so bann diskour ek poem bien ekrir. Tou dimoun selebre bann fam. Bann lantrepiz partaz bann sitasion pou motiv zot. Bann politisien fer bann zoli aksion. Apre…le 9 mars arive. Tou revinn normal, sakenn repran so lavi.

Me atann - kiete sa exakteman, “enn lavi normal pou enn fam” ?

Samem ki vre kestion la. Parski ant bann drwa ki ekrir dan bann dokiman inportan ek seki bann fam viv vremem toulezour, ena parfwa enn fose bien gran kouma lagon Blue Bay.

🟣 Lor papie, sa paret bien…

Anou koz fran : Moris inn fer progre. Konstitision garanti egalite ant bann zom ek bann fam. Protection from Domestic Violence Act ekziste. Ena enn Minister pou Egalite bann zanr. Bann ONG kouma SOS Fam, Kolektif Ark-an-Siel, ek Gender Links pe konbat toulezour pour ki drwa bann fam vinn enn zafer konkre.

Wi, bann fam okip bann gran pos - dan mazistratir, dan lemond bann zafer, dan medsinn. Tou korek alor ? 

Atann !

Violans domestik, enn realite bien prezan dan lavi bann fam

💬 Eski to ti kone ? #1

Dan Moris, enn fam lor trwa inn sibir violans domestik omwin enn fwa dan so lavi. 

Enn lor trwa. Savedir ki parmi to bann pros, to bann kamarad, to kouzinn, to vwazinn, to koleg, bizin ena enn ki bizin inn viv sa. Ek souvan dan silans. 

Kifer silans ? Parski dan fami, bien souvan nou tann : "Pa fer iskandal". Parski laont, mem si li inzist, souvan retonb lor bann zepol seki pe soufer. 

💼 Egalite dan travay

Panse enn kout : to ena mem bann diplom ki to koleg. Zot fer mem travay. Zot ena mem ansiennte. Pourtan…to gagn mwins lapey.

Non, sa pa enn fiksion la. Dekalaz lor lapey ant bann zom ek bann fam li enn realite. Dapre Statistics Mauritius, bann fam gagn an mwayenn ant 20 a 25 % mwins ki bann zom dan sertin sekter. 

Ek dan bann pos direksion ? Ena mwins ki 20 % fam ki okip bann pos leadership dan sekter prive.

Kifer ? Eski nou ankor ena dout lor bann kapasite bann fam ? Oubien sa paret pli zis…plis konfortab si pa fer okenn sanzman ? 

💬 Eski to ti kone ? #2

Moris klase nimero 100 lor enn lalis 146 pei dan l'Index Mondial pou Egalite bann Zanr pou Forum Ekonomik Mondial. 

100. Lor 146. Pou enn zil ki ena obzektif vinn enn hub ekonomik ek sosial model dan lafrik…inpe difisil pou krwar, non ?

🏠 Dan lakaz : fardo invizib

Anou koz enn zafer ki nou pa trouve dan bann istatisitk : sarz mantal. 

Dan Moris, parey kouma dan bokou sosiete ki marke par enn tradision kiltirel bien for - ki li indou, mizilman, kreol oubien katolik, bann fam ankor konsidere kouma responsab prinsipal enn fwaye. Li okip zanfan, manze, bann devwar, rasion…ek souvan an mem tan li travay. 

So misie, li “ed li”. Koumadir sa enn faver. 

Eski to pe trouv problem la ?

Li pa enn kestion move volonte. Li zis enn kestion move labitid kiltirel kinn transmet depi plizir zenerasion. Ek sa bann labitid-la, kapav sanz zot. Selman bizin denonse, koze. 

💬 Eski to ti kone ? #3

Dan Moris, kan bann fam travay san gagn lapey (okip zanfan ek bann gran dimoun, netway lakaz), sa reprezant enn gro kontribision ekonomik…me sa pa konte dan PIB. 

An gro : si lekonomi Moris tourne, li an gran parti gras a bann fam. Ek personn pa dir zot mersi : pena ni enn rekonesans sosial, ni kas. 

🗳️ Ek dan politik ?

Inn ena bann fam kinn demark zot dan bann pos inportan. Me anou koz fran : reprezantasion politik bann fam dan Moris res feb.

Dan Lasanble Nasional, bann fam reprezant mwins ki 20 % bann eli. Mwins ki enn lavwa lor sink. Kouma bann lalwa ki sipoze protez bann fam kapav reflekte zot realite si bann fam mem zot preske pa la pou ekrir zot ? 

❤️ Seki nou kapav fer : twa, mwa, nou

Isi, nou pa pe koz feminism kouma enn gran mo. Nou pe koz zis bon rezonnman ek imanite. 

Respekte enn fam, nou kapav fer li toulezour, pa zis le 8 mars. Ki savedir vremem, kan met li an pratik ?

• Ekout enn fam ki pe koze dan enn renion, ek pa atann so tour pou koz dan so plas.

• Partaz bann louvraz lakaz vremem, pa zis donn enn ti ed.

• Krwar enn fam ki pe dir li pe viv enn sitiasion difisil, san demann li ki linn fer pou provok sa. 

• Aport to soutien bann istriktir kouma SOS FAM, Family Support Bureau, oubien Befrienders Mauritius.

• Vot pou bann reprezantan, zom ek fam, ki trouve vremem egalite enn zafer inportan.

Selebre, enn bon zafer. Pran aksion, meyer.

Le 8 mars, li zoli, li neseser, li enn rapel. 

Me si le 9 mars, le 16 avril, le 3 zilie ek tou lezot zour pena okenn diferans dan manier ki tret enn fam…be sa zis enn dekor. 

Moris enn zoli zil, ris akoz so diversite, so rezilians, so bann fam. Sa bann fam-la merit plis ki enn lazourne. Zot merit ki enn sosiete antie leve, toulezour, pou ki zot bann drwa pa ress zis bann mo dan enn dokiman inportan. 

Twa, ki to pou sanze zordi ?

*sa zimaz-la inn zenere par enn intelizans artifisiel (IA)

To met makiyaz pou kasiet to vre laparans

Kouma enn fraz bien banal kapav fer twa dout tomem pandan plizir lane. 

To'nn get twa dan sa laglas-la. To'nn pran letan. Fon de tin, maskara, kapav enn tigit glos ki fer twa santi twa inpe plis tomem. To'nn sorti, leker leze, apre…enn dimoun inn ouver so labous :

• “Ki to pe rod kasiet ekzakteman kan to met tou sa makiyaz-la?”
• “To pa natirel la”
• “To fer sa pou bann zom, dir fran”
• “Tousala siperfisiel sa”

Ala kouma avek enn sel fraz, tou sa lezerte-la inn disparet. Koumadir to oblize zistifie, explike, defann sa moman plezir ki to'nn ofer tomem.

Zordi, nou pou debat lor tousala ansam. Parski sa fraz-la merit ki nou koz lorla pou trouve ki kasiet vremem deryer sa.

🔬 Seki to servo tande (atansion : li devastater)

Kan kikenn dir twa “to pe kasiet to vre laparans avek makiyaz”, to servo pa tann zis enn lopinion. Li tann enn verdik.

To servo tann : to pa ase zoli san makiyaz. To pe zwe fos. Si to aret makiye, zot tou pou trouve kouma to ete vremem, ek mo kapav dir twa ki sa pa zoli ditou pou gete.

Sa bien violan, non ? Pourtan samem mesaz sa fraz-la pe plante dan to latet. Pa bizin dir li for. Trankil, parfwa avek enn sourir.

To kone ki pir dan tousala ? To koumans krwar sa vre. Enn zour to tir to makiyaz ek to get tomem dan enn lot manier. Pa avek bienveyans, me avek regar enn lot dimoun.

Bann fam ki makiye souvan viktim "beauty shaming"

💡 Eski to ti kone ?

Seki nou pe koze la ena enn non. Nou apel sa “beauty shaming”. Se kan to zize, kritike ek ridikiliz bann swa bote enn dimoun. Li kapav parski : 

li makiye tro bokou, 

li pa makiye ase, 

li makiye pou bann move rezon.

Bokou dimoun panse se enn zafer ki prezan zis lor bann rezo sosio, me non. Sa arive dan to lakwizinn, dan biro, ant bann kamarad, dan labous to prop fami. Enn letid britanik inn montre ki plis ki 60% bann fam deza modifie zot routinn bote akoz enn komanter ki zot pann demande. Pa parski zot ti anvi, me parski zot ti pe gagn onte. 

 🩺 Seki sa dimoun-la dir vremem

Parski souvan enn fraz toksik kapav ena de sans. Deryer enn “to makiye pou kasiet to vilin laparans”, ena plizir lot sinifikasion posib ek okenn ladan pa konsern twa vremem. 

Sinifikasion n°1 : kontrol

To lekor, to manier met li an valer, sa deranz zot. Pa parski to pe fer enn move zafer, me parski to pe fer enn zafer pou twa. Ek sa, sertin dimoun pa siport sa. To liberte met zot mal alez. 

Sinifikasion°2 : prozeksion

Enn dimoun ki ena enn relasion difisil avek so prop lekor oubien so laparans souvan pou rod fer lezot santi zot parey. Si twa to santi twa bien, sa dezekilibre enn zafer dan zot 

Sinifikasion n°3 : inzonksion sosial degize

“To bizin natirel”. To konn sa inzonksion-la? Li partou. Li paret bienveyan, preske feminis. Sof ki an realite, li pe rod dikte bann fam kouma zot bizin ete pou sosiete aksepte zot. Natirel inn vinn enn normalite. Me kisanla deside ki normal ? Sertennman pas twa. 

Makiyaz se enn temwanyaz lamour anver tomem

😤 Kifer sa inn detrir twa san ki to realize ?

Parski sa bann fraz-la se souvann bann dimoun ki nou kontan ek respekte ki servi zot. Enn partener, enn ser, enn kamarad pros. Ek kan se enn dimoun pros ki dir twa sa, inposib to realize “li toksik”. Nou premie reflex se panse “kapav li ena rezon”.

Lamem pwazon-la fer so travay an silans. Personn pann insilte twa an fas. To'nn zis remet tomem an kestion. Ek sa dout-la, li koumans instale, inkriste. Li leve tou le gramatin devan to laglas. 

Avan to ti makiye pou santi twa zoli. Aster to pe demann tomem si sa enn febles.

# 💥 Repons parfe ki to ti bizin inn donn zot ( ek ki to kapav gard dan enn kwin to latet pou prosenn fwa)

> "Mo makiye parski mo anvi. Pa pou twa, pa pou lezot, pa pou kasiet nanye. Pou mwa. Ek si sa pe fer twa gagn laraz, sa pe zis montre kouma to ete vremem.”

Si to trouv sa tro long pou to dir, ala enn version pli kourt : 

> "Mo figir sa. Pa sey zer li dan mo plas, mersi."

🌸 Makiye, li enn zes lamour anver nou mem

Anou arete avek sa lide ki makiyaz li forseman enn larmir kont insekirite. Pou bokou fam, li ekzakteman lekontrer, li enn ritiel, enn plezir, enn fason kreatif pou viv an akorite avek zot lekor.

Eski to demann kikenn kifer li met so soset prefere ? Kifer linn swazir sa lakoup seve-la ?

Non. Parski so bann swa pou li.

To maskara, to antisernn, to glos ? Zot pou twa. Ki to servi zot pou bouste tomem, pou enn ti tous fantezi, kouma enn ti ritiel gramatin oubien zis parski to anvi, okenn sa bann rezon-la pa bizin valide par kikenn. 

Santi twa zoli pa enn zafer siperfisiel sa. Okontrer li enn manier pou to pren swin tomem.

Makiyaz pa kasiet ki to ete vremem. Li zis montre ki to lekor pou twa. Me sa malerezman, bokou dimoun parkor kone kouma pou zer sa.

To makiye ek dimoun ziz twa ? Nou dekortik sa fraz toksik la ek rann twa seki pou twa : to figir, to swa, to liberte.

*sa bann zimaz-la inn zenere par enn intelizans artifisiel (IA)

FAQ - Tou bann kestion nou poz nou mem (me ki zame nou oze demande)

Be si vremem mo makiye parski mo pa kontan mo figir natirel ?

Li imin. Bokou dimoun ena enn relasion konplex avek zot limaz. Vre problem la li pa makiyaz, me lasours inkonfor la. Si regar lezot kinn konstrir sa insekirite-la, se sa ki bizin dekonstrir. Pa to trous makiyaz.

Kouma reponn enn dimoun ki fer mwa sa bann remark-la souvan ? 

Dabor to bizin kapav idantifie li : bann komanter koumsa lor mo laparans, mo pa le. Si sa kontinie, se enn limit ki pa pe respekte, ek sa, merit enn vre konversasion lor seki to tolere oubien non dan sa relasion-la. 

Eski makiyaz kapav feminis vremem ?

Wi. Feminis, se drwa swazir, pa obligasion rezet bann kod tradisionel. Makiye par swa ek pa akoz presion, samem ki apel lotonomi korporel. 

Be si mo partnener ki dir mwa sa ?

La ki li koumans vinn serye. Enn partener ki kritik to laparans souvan oubien ki rod kontrol to fason abiye ek fer to seve, se enn sinyal alert relasionel. Sa pa apel lamour me kontrol.

Kifer bann fam ziz zot mem ant zot ?

Parski tou fam, dan enn moman zot lavi, inn internaliz sa bann inzonksion-la. Ziz lezot, parfwa li enn fason pou zer to prop relasion avek sa bann norm-la. Li pa exkiz li, me li zis enn manier pou explik sa.